Cooking hilarity

Some people blog cute cakes and such, well I shall report instead on my culinary monster of the day.

You know the best stories occur when Savannah cooks alone. When i was on the CES budget baking course, an old lady was able to quickly able to take my metal plate out of the microwave, at home Stef was able to tell me (a little late) that you don't wash lettuce in hot water. lol, dont be under the impression i was young when i did these things either because I wasn't. When Savannah cooks alone the phrase "Fools tread where angels fear" (or something like that) is extremely relevant.

Anyway I was hungry and tired of the only things I can make (pasta and sandwiches, they are doing weird things to my regularity actually) so I thought "I'll scramble an egg, how hard can that be?". Haha, reminds me of another 'cooking alone experience' involving one sausage, boiling a pot of water and the imminent arrival of the fire department.

Anyway, so i turned on the gas for a wee bit and about to break an egg when I realized, we still have those egg yokes from the pavlova, I'll make an omelet. Still simple enough for me. So I get my eggs, brutally beat with a fork and remember I should add milk. I do so but WTH? Pink milk through my omlete??? Why is the milk pink, no kids live here?!?? So turns out it was strawberry yogurt... Mmmm yum. (gross)

So I attempt to remove as much as possible with a napkin but decide yogurt is pretty much milk anyway so I'd leave it... Hahaha. I add (too much) milk, cut up sausages and add cheese and dump in hot pan. Get a wooden spoon and move the monstrosity around ;)

Yeah... I thought I'd separate into two little ugly WTH blobs, rather than one despicable WTF blob for photo :)

So, remembering cooking advise from teenage boys (we are at a similar cooking level) if it's really bad, just smother it in mayonnaise. Mayonnaise can save anything. So i did and then made it into a (insert your own adjective) sandwich. Then I ate it. I remember thinking "you know, I really have cooked worse" ;)


Hmm it happened again the other day too. Susana was really quite sick so she asked me to boil a vegetable for her. I did so with pride... However it was severely undercooked and, err the wrong vegetable... Understandable if we were speaking Spanish but we weren't and her English is perfect...

Anyway tried again putting this vegetable with the correct one, over cooking the first and both had many ugly stab marks from me testing their hardness. Then boiled an egg, Susan added oil and salt to the veggies and it was ok. :) but what should have taken 20 minutes, took around an hour.